“What on earth happened?” “How did this happen?” “What does this mean for the kind of girl I’d always prided myself on being?” These are the questions I pondered as I organized my shoes in my closet this past weekend. I have 26 pairs of shoes! To many women out there this may not seem like a lot, but I hate shopping and taking too long to get ready. I have a clear disdain for myself in those moments when I ponder what shoes go best with what I am wearing. I don’t want to be “that girl”. “Just pick a pair”, I often yell at myself during this internal dialogue. But here I am, the owner of wedges, stilettos in several heights and colors, several pairs of ballet flats, two pairs of boots, and strappy sandals, both casual and dressy. I also have 12 different belts (why??), a drawer full of not just make up, but MAC cosmetics, I hang my pants and have a jewelry box (the contents being mostly Tiffany is my husband’s issue, not mine).
Don’t get me wrong, I have no ill will for those girls. I just feel life is too precious to spend hours on hair and make up. I’m too tactile a person to ever get my money’s worth out of a manicure. I just don’t get it and really have no desire to, yet here I am and I wonder how this shift happened. If you remember me from high school, my wet from the shower hair was in a pony tail every day, make up free face and clothes just thrown on. I am not naturally a morning person so this was all the effort I could muster. So what happened between here and there?
Well I don’t have an answer for you but I do have some thoughts on presentation in general that have come up as I have fixated on this shift:
1. I think it’s the drag queen’s fault. I remember being at a show and thinking “wow, they put more effort into it than I do.”
2. Working and wanting to succeed in a professional environment. It doesn’t matter if you think it’s right or wrong, you are judged on your appearance, and I suspect that most people want to be (read more below).
3. Looking good (whatever that means for you) brings confidence and authority and leadership both require confidence.
4. Learning what looks good on your body type is a time saver. I no longer buy things because they are on sale and in my size. It has to be cut the right way for my type. If I don’t love it on the hanger, I will not wear it once I own it.
5. You don’t have to spend a lot to look well put together. “White Trash” I’ve come to learn is a style in itself. Be it lack of taste or knowledge or it really is just what people love. With so many stores selling cheap stuff, not having much money to spend is just an excuse for poor taste. H&M, Target, heck even Amazon.com
6. People wear clothes to allow for easy identification by the people they want to notice them. You want people to know what you spent, you buy clothes with big logos or red soles
7. I’m still not “that girl”. I don’t shop as a hobby, often my hair air dries on the way to work (this works because I don’t dye or abuse it. Treat it well and it will treat you well). I don’t get manicures and pedicures. Function and comfort still trump style. I’m not that girl because the shoes don’t have to be a particular brand, their cost does not affect how I feel about them. I don’t want shoes, etc for the sake of having them, they are part of the message of me.
So what lesson do I impress upon my children? I don’t want them to be materialistic but I want them to care about the message. Well, I usually say “you can wear what you want but you must look like you care. Wear whatever t-shirt you want but make sure it’s not on backwards, wear whatever jeans you want but take the time to make sure they are zipped up.”
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