Is It Possible To Forgive And Move On? How Do I Grant Forgiveness?
A recent life event has sent me pondering about forgiveness. Can you ever truly, completely forgive someone who has wronged you? What happens to that relationship? Can it be repaired? Can you get past it?
I grew up in a household where religious faith was important. Every Saturday night or Sunday morning, like clockwork, we were at church. We went to church from the moment my mom was able to bring us after we were born. After all those sermons about forgiveness, you would think I would have the answer to this. Nope. Still torn.
I am a firm believer that forgiveness is easier when it is one person slighted. If it is a group or community that has been compromised by the event, I think it’s a whole different issue. If one person in the group or community can’t get to a place of forgiveness, can the person ever return fully to that community? Can the person who betrayed the trust of the community earn that trust back?
If you are the person whose actions caused the betrayal and you want to come back, how can you prove you are now worthy of the forgiveness? I think Don Henley had some good musings on this. It’s time to get down to the heart of the matter.
So really, how to do you move on and can you? Everyone has to answer this for themselves, but there are some good steps that can be taken to help move through the process. Since I’m not a licensed therapist, let me give you some good links to people who are licensed and smarter than me. Let’s start with WikiHow and 3 Practical Ways to Forgiveness. This offers some great tips and tricks. Made me feel badly for being torn. How about those smart people at the Mayo Clinic? They have some great advice available to you. Or, the folks at Love Your Skeletons have some great words of wisdom.
One theme that ran through all of the articles was action. Whether that action was to meet and discuss the situation with the other person or try to trade places and feel the other person’s pain, you need to take action purposely. You can work on yourself and your own emotions, but in the end, you can’t control the result because it is a relationship you are trying to repair. Regardless of your choice and your process, forgive yourself. Life is too short to carry that burden.
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