An Open Letter to My Daughter

Michelle Bullock
3285 days ago.

Chelsea Renee,

Not so long ago, in a not so distant place, we met for the first time. You came into my life like a sweet ray of sunshine. I remember looking down at you and thinking “she is all mine.” She is mine to love, protect, teach and watch grow into something amazing. I remember thinking it’s all up to me on what she will become in this world. What I teach her and what she sees from me will have a huge effect on the person she will be.   I was so young and had no idea what I was doing. All I knew is that I was going to do anything and everything to make sure you never wanted for anything. I hope you know that.


When you were a baby there were many nights where I stayed awake for hours just to watch you sleep and wondered what your future self would turn out to be. What color your prom dress would be? What type of student you would be? What type of teenager you would be? What kind of woman you would be? As I wondered about all of those things I just kept praying that whatever your future self would be, it would be good. I hope you know that.

As you got a little older, family dynamics changed but there were more people for us to love. I am sure sometimes you must have thought that I may have not paid as much attention to you as you would have wanted. You, my sweet girl, never left the front of my mind and my heart. I would watch you as you would play in the yard with your soccer ball and just think to myself how blessed I was at that moment to have someone that loves me so unconditionally. I hope you know that.

As you became a teenager and I had a hyper active toddler to raise, you seemed to become more reserved and distant. It may have seemed that I was caught up in raising my son and forgetting my daughter. That is something I could never do. Your smile, your laugh, that special way you know just what to say to make me feel like a great mom – those things are unforgettable. I hope you know that.

Right now with your graduation near you are going through what is, in your eyes, the toughest part of your life. You are at a threshold where you look back at your childhood while looking forward to your adulthood. You think you have no direction. You think you may not make it. You are scared and wondering what does the next chapter hold. Whatever may happen, however your chapters in life end, I will be there at each one to be your guide, to be your rock, to be your mom. I hope you know that.

Throughout all of these years you and I have grown up together. I never wanted to be your best friend. I was born to be your mother. I have always been prepared to be smirked at and to be shunned when your friends are around, but what I have never been fully prepared for is you growing up and not needing me. I know you will be successful and I hope you will have every joy possible in this life, but a part of me will always want you to need your mommy. I hope you know that.

Finally, you Chelsea Renee, are a shining star in the darkest of nights. You are so many wonderful things for so many people. I am so proud that you are the future of this family and this world. You are the one that has taught me so much about how to give unselfishly and to love unconditionally. I will forever be grateful to you. To my little redhead, I love you. I hope you know that.


 Mills Apartments

Michelle Bullock

Michelle was born on "The Hill" in St. Louis and currently lives in O'Fallon, MO. She pretends she can cook fine cuisine, but can actually bake what her husband calls "Five Star Desserts". Her two greatest joys are her very cute but very evil children. She has made meeting Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam number one on her bucket list.

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