I’m feeling spunky today so you are about to get a raw attitude from me. This is not just about men; women are also guilty, so please don’t be offended by my title. It’s just a catchy way to make my point. I’m curious if it is just me or if the rest of the world also has issues with the people I’m about to describe.
Indoor Sunglasses Guy- Everyone has done this at some point. We all know that you can’t see as well with sunglasses indoors, so unless you are a rock star with a reputation to maintain, why? You don’t look cool and I don’t like talking to you without eye contact; it’s offensive and rude. The only exceptions are if you forgot your prescription glasses or have a medical condition. Tell me and I’ll forgive you. Otherwise, take them off.
Sleezy Friend Guy – This is the guy who pretends to be your friend. He acts like he genuinely cares about your well-being when in reality he is waiting for an opportunity to get into your pants. He finds little ways to flirt with you that are very subtle so it’s difficult to catch his game. Then in a moment of weakness, he tries to takes advantage. (Woof!)
The Busy Body – Talk about a nosy dude – this guy will get all up in your business and tell you how to live your life. He needs to take a long look in the mirror and figure his own life out first!
The One-Upper – For people who have actually had a fun and exciting life, this guy always comes up with something better. I’ve been skydiving in Hawaii (yes, I actually have) so he has taken a trip to the moon. Really?! He has done everything that you have plus some and always has a better story to go with it.
It’s All About Me Guy - Ok, we all like to talk about ourselves. That’s why advice books tell you to listen and ask questions because people like to tell you about their lives. But let’s have a reality check here – if you are doing most of the talking, you need to close your mouth and let the other person talk a little bit. Chances are you are boring the crap out of that poor girl and she’s in La-La-Land somewhere not even listening any more.
The Wanna-Be – This is the person who wants to fit in so bad that he changes who he is to impress people. He tries so hard to fit into the group that he ends up sticking out like a sore thumb. Instead of being himself, he poorly attempts to mimic other people in order to grandstand, while in fact all he is doing is striking out. If he showed his real personality, people would actually like him for his true self.
The Poser - Does this guy even need a definition? When the veil starts to fall and you see his true colors, you realize he’s a poser. I think he fits into the SCRUB category.
The Toucher – This guy always has to touch your shoulder and get into your space bubble. Do I know you? Are you my friend or family? I think not. Stay out of my bubble, dude.
The Pompous Prick - This guy sits on such a high horse that you wonder how his head fits through the door. By stretching the truth, he will exaggerate stories and income to appear as the person with the bigger stick. In the words of Outkast, Roses really smell like poo-poo.
The Cry Baby – The constant “victim” of other’s cruelty, this guy can’t take responsibility for anything that has ever happened to him.
If nothing else, I hope this gave you a laugh for the day. We are all thinking it – I simply said it.
In conclusion, I will simply say: Don’t be “That Guy.”
Did I miss any others?