Life's Too Short To Eat Skinny

3768 days ago.

A wise man once said something about there being only two things that are certain in life: death and taxes.  By wise, I mean someone who is actually worth listening to.  Life is way too short to not enjoy it. Does eating like a rabbit make you happy?  Go for it.  I’ll enjoy my Diet Pepsi and Double Cheeseburger with onion rings while finishing it all off with a Frosty. Another certain thing in life: everything causes cancer. We all will pass too soon. We might as well enjoy life while we can.

Courtesy KFC

As far as I am concerned, there are two great things about Kentucky, Ashley Judd and KFC.  Ashley because she is a beautiful college basketball superfan and Kentucky Fried Chicken because it is delicious. Anyone who says they “eat healthy” probably only pulls into a KFC parking lot to turn around. I feel sorry for them.  In the St. Louis area, Mr. Hodak might as well have a shrine right next to Stan the Man.  For my money, give me KFC.  So many delicious things on the menu.  Personally, my favorite is the Double Down.  Yep, that’s the “sandwich” you didn’t think was real.  Two fried chicken filets with bacon, cheese and sauce stuck between ’em. When I tell people I enjoy this amazing food item, they look at me like I just suggested throwing a baby out a window. Check out the nutritional facts. It’s not something you would eat every day, so it’s perfectly okay to splurge every now and then.

Sometimes you just feel like you want “quantity over quality” for a meal. Maybe it’s bad for you, but it usually tastes delicious.  On those days, I often go with a “$5 Buck Box” from Taco Bell. Right now, you can get a box with either a Cheesy Gordita Crunch or a Beefy Crunch Burrito as the featured item. The boxes each include two other items plus a medium soda.  The Beefy Crunch box includes a Crunchwrap Supreme whereas the Beefy Crunch box has a Burrito Supreme. For about $5-$6 bucks, it is one heck of a value.

Hardee’s has positioned themselves as a company who for sure isn’t jumping on the health wagon. They even have a board on Pinterest titled “Monstrosities”. When I was in high school, I stocked Pepsi at local stores in Troy, Missouri.  Every Saturday and Sunday my morning would consist of an hour or so of stocking soda and then a trip to the local Hardee’s. I would eat and read the newspaper while the girl I was working with would sleep off her hangover in the booth.  My “go-to” breakfast was a Loaded Omelet biscuit and an order of Biscuits & Gravy.  I would dip the Loaded Omelet in the gravy.  It was delicious.  And to think I was skinny in high school. If you ever happen to travel North on Highway 61 through Troy, stop at the Hardee’s. I am convinced it is the coolest one for two reasons: 1) it serves Pepsi products and 2) a live band plays old-time Country music on Thursday nights.

These “unhealthy” delicious treats are not only for the fast food crowd. Both Epic Pizza & Subs and Feraro’s in Soulard have these delicious things called “Garlic Knots”. Feraro’s takes dough balls brushed with garlic butter and bakes them.  They then brush them with garlic butter again.  Epic goes through much the same process, but then deep fries them. It’s whatever floats your boat, both are delicious.

Two local restaurants have menu options that let you create something as healthy or delicious as you want. Square One in Lafayette Square has “Build  A Burger Tuesdays” where you start with meat and bread and then customize from there. 43 different toppings. You can also get “game” or veggie patties for an upcharge. Market Grill recently started a brunch service on weekends and I get quite upset when I miss a day. They offer “Build Yo Biscuit”. Start with a biscuit for $3 and add whatever you want on it for a nominal charge.  I enjoy a fried egg with house-cured bacon and cheese on top smothered in Hollandaise on top of the biscuit.

What’s your take?  Got some other “fat kid food” that you enjoy splurging on?  I’m going to go try a Doritos Locos Taco while you think about it and comment below. Maybe I’ll even get a sack of them.

Post brought to you by Mills Properties


Ryan is a weird dude. He doesn't cook, yet owns a plethora of kitchen gadgets. He rationalized buying a SodaStream while unemployed. He counts Step Up 2: The Streets as one of his favorite movies along with Footloose, Rent, Grease and Paul Blart: Mall Cop. He loves Mizzou but only wants them in the SEC so he can tailgate in Nashville. He owns a ShakeWeight and AbLounger, but still loves him some John Donut and Billie's Fine Foods. You can get more of Ryan at or just check the stool on the far end of the bar at iTap in Soulard.

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