I was listening to a Woody and Riz segment on 105.7 The Point last week about crazy things women do. If you’re familiar with the show I’m sure you know which segment I’m referring to. Anyway, Woody brought up one of the ways in which women are trippin is how they give directions.
At first I was offended (as I always am when men make ignorant comments about all women being bad drivers). But then I listened to his impression of a woman giving directions, then they played a song after the segment called Girl Directions by PsychoStick. (Warning-it’s like a heavy metal style song so maybe don’t click on the link at work). I don’t really like that style of music, but in between the death metal growling is a woman giving directions and the chorus says (with some additional words that I won’t use here): “Just give me the address, I’m using a GPS!” …and I just started laughing.
The video is funny, the song lyrics are hilarious, but what’s best is listening to the woman give directions, and for me…realizing it’s exactly how I give directions.
Here are some ways I agree with men on women giving directions:
1. We don’t know North, South, East, West. We will tell you and want to be told: Turn left at the stoplight…We do not want to hear “Go North at the stoplight.”
2. We rarely know street names. I myself would love it if my friends would give me the street names and get frustrated when a friend says, “Turn left on the street right after the gas station” and I ask, “What’s the name of the street?” and the response is “Umm, maybe Pine Street. I’m not sure but it’s right after the gas station.” Which brings me to #3.
3. We use landmarks. I recall the last time one of my girlfriends was asking for directions to my house, she specifically asked: “What landmarks am I looking for?” And last time I asked a friend for directions to her house, she said something like “turn right at the light, it’ll be just a big area of flat land, you can’t miss it (although in this case, she did also give the street name-1 point for women!).”
4. We don’t always know what those landmarks are, so we describe them. To this day I don’t know the name of that water tower/reservoir on Grand Ave, but when I used to live in that area and be explaining to people how to get back to the highway, I’d say “It’ll be on the right after that big castle looking building with the tower.”
5. We overwhelm you with too much information. Sometimes when someone moves to a neighborhood that’s new, my GPS doesn’t recognize the address so I get directions as back up. So I’m writing these directions down on paper as they’re coming out of my friend’s mouth, and it’s like playing a game of how many ways can you describe “Turn Left.” And apparently there are a lot my friends, because here’s what you’ll get from a woman: “You’ll come to a stop sign. On your left will be a BP Gas Station. Pass that, go over the railroad tracks and then turn left on Jackson Street. It’s a small sign so pay close attention or you’ll miss it. You’ll know you missed it if you get to the McDonald’s.”…Yep, all that for just one turn.
But we’re women and that’s how we do it. It makes me laugh a little to think back at some of the directions I’ve given and have been given and I love it, wouldn’t change it, and will probably smile every time a woman gives me directions from now on.
Are there any others that you can think of?
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