The Land of Misfit Movies

Ryan
2170 days ago.

There are very few things in life I leave the Island of Soulard for.  Family, hot dogs, and $1 stores are about the extent of it.  Sunday, I decided I wanted to see the new Footloose movie.  Seeing as I am a tad behind the times, I had to turn to the trusty Google to see if the movie was even playing on the silver screen still.  I typed in “movie showtimes 63104” and let Google do its magic.  I had to go all the way to the second page of results before I found a showtime, but I found one.  I attribute this to my singing “Holding Out for a Hero” while the search was going on.  Some place called Keller Plaza Cine 8 was still playing Footloose, as well as The Smurfs, The Help, and Real Steel.

When seeing the address I was more confused than when I originally heard a Footloose remake was in the works.  I worked out in South County for two years off of Lemay Ferry and never noticed a movie theater. I looked at a map and figured finding it shouldn’t be a problem. They make smartphones for things like this and keeping me entertained during meetings.

I recruited a friend to go with me.  By “recruited”, I mean I bribed her with authentic Mexican food on Cherokee and then once she was already in the car and full it was either she walk home or see the movie with me.  More to come in future posts about my complete and utter lack of dating skills.

Of course I got lost getting to the theater. Luckily, while I was busy turning around we happened to see this sight, where without the streets, you see the theater up on a hill. It’s pretty much right across the street from the bowling alley.

Whenever I venture that close to the Jefferson County line, I’m never really surprised by anything I see. It’s a lot like going home to Lincoln County.

Pricing is pretty straight forward. It’s $3 for showings before 6pm and $4 after.  If you were to see someone in line arguing about the price, they should probably be punched in the face.

(Two side notes:  1) People are ridiculous and it probably happens  2) the world would be a much better place if more people got punched in the face when they did stupid things.)

Concessions are pretty cheap and Pepsi products are on tap.  Those are pretty much the only things I ask of a theater.  I paid $10 for two large drinks and a large popcorn that was bigger than my ego.

The cheap pricing isn’t the only thing that makes you think this theater is stuck in the past and should still be showing the original Footloose in all its Kevin Bacon awesomeness. The theater only takes cash.  Luckily, a credit union in the same plaza has an ATM in front of it.  The theater employees were happy to point us in that direction. The ATM very well may be the first ATM ever made, which is cool because that means the fee is only $2. The old school butter machine for the popcorn had me wondering if it had been there since 1984.

The butter machine for the popcorn

The actual theater was laid out pretty well and clean.  I was surprised there were actually other people at our showing.  I mean, great minds think alike so, I shouldn’t have been surprised.

The movie was actually pretty good.  I admit I was a little hesitant to see it when I first heard about it.  If the original Footloose had never been made, this movie would be a must-see.  The world would be a much darker place though, so I guess it’s for the best.  Kenny Wormald does a sufficient job in the Ren MacCormack role and Miles Teller is hillarious as Willard.  Julianne Hough makes red cowboy boots look like the greatest things to ever be worn by a member of the female population.

Two downsides of the movie are the soundtrack and the casting of Andie MacDowell in the Vi Moore role.  I guess they were trying to give the soundtrack a little touch of “hipster” for the remake, but it didn’t tickle my fancy. Vi Moore isn’t too big of a part in the movie, but I would have rather seen someone else in that role, like Reba McEntire.

Is there a movie you are a little late to the party on?  Check the showtimes at Keller Plaza Cine 8 and maybe you can still catch it on the big screen. Just remember to bring cash and dress warm if it’s cold outside, $4 movies don’t pay the heating bill.

Brought to you by Mills Properties

Ryan

Ryan is a weird dude. He doesn't cook, yet owns a plethora of kitchen gadgets. He rationalized buying a SodaStream while unemployed. He counts Step Up 2: The Streets as one of his favorite movies along with Footloose, Rent, Grease and Paul Blart: Mall Cop. He loves Mizzou but only wants them in the SEC so he can tailgate in Nashville. He owns a ShakeWeight and AbLounger, but still loves him some John Donut and Billie's Fine Foods. You can get more of Ryan at iLoveSoulard.com or just check the stool on the far end of the bar at iTap in Soulard.

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